The language maven, author and sometime presidential speech writer, William Safire "passed away" last month. In his "On Language" column of the New York Times Magazine, though, he would have insisted it was "died" as more direct and unambiguous. Then he probably would trace or cite some arcane connection between "died" and "dyed" as both being some kind of change: one a change of form, the other a change of color.

Safire always followed the words wherever they led. By contrast, though, "leaden" may better describe this tribute to him.

Often, Safire decried the "dumbing down" of speech and writing, but accepted changing usages and forms as essential to a living language. The traditional teachers' prohibitions against dangling participles, split infinitives and verbs made into nouns – or vice-versa – didn't bother him much. (Which precept to not ukase was he thinking of?) He always could find a violation or a substantiation in something from Shakespeare. (Or was it Bacon?) Eventually, he even mellowed on using modifiers for ‘unique.’

The proper ways to use Honorable and Reverend got some attention: "Hon. Jones" or "Rev. Jones"- no. "The Hon. Joe Jones" and "The Rev. Joe Jones"- yes. Or, "The Hon. Mr. Jones" and "The Rev. Mr. Jones"- yes. Substitute "Mrs." or "Ms." to easily identify as female. Safire did approve of collective nouns like "clergymen" instead of the clumsy "clergy persons" or "clergy men and women."

Ms. is not a feminist-era invention. Remember the old nursery rhyme: "Mistress Mary quite contrary, how does your garden grow...?" Both Ms. and Mrs. date back to medieval times as abbreviations for "Mistress," then the honorific for a well-born woman.

That's roughly how a Safire column might ramble on, but always ending with some light and diverting word-play. Herewith some feeble efforts:

Oscar Wilde, noted for his quick wit and repartee, was seated beside a twittery matron (origin of today's "twitter"?) at a grand London dinner party. She gushed, "Oh Mr. Wilde, I do so love badinage!" His terse reply, "When do we begin?" Do "badinage" and "badminton" have some arcane connection like "light objects batted back and forth?”

A man died of acute alcoholism, but his wife told the doctor she couldn't possibly say that to his elderly relatives coming for the funeral. "Wasn't he a musician?" She said he could play "chopsticks." Well then, the doc said, tell them he died of "syncopation." What's that? "Irregular progression from bar to bar."

Finally, the old chestnut involving blonde bombshell actress, Jean Harlow: The setting is an English country weekend where her hostess is Margot, Duchess of Kent. In her breezy manner, Jean kept calling the duchess Margot, with emphasis on the "t". Fed up, the duchess finally said politely: "Miss Harlow, the "t" is silent as in "harlow."

We'll all miss the real thing from William Safire.

John Fontaine is a Northsider.