As the kids grow up, the beach vacations aren't quite the same

Wyatt Emmerich

As a fairly typical middle-aged family man, I occasionally gripe about the pressures and hassles of family life. Sometimes it seems like the members of my family view me as an ATM, but more annoying than the bank kind because I complain when they make a withdrawal.

My status as head of the household is dubious at best. I lecture constantly about such things as turning out lights, working hard and following rules, but I might as well be at the edge of the Grand Canyon - at least I could hear the echo.